Clothes serve many purposes, probably the least relevant of which is keeping us warm. One such function is that since we all have to wear them, they give you something to talk to people about. And by people, I mean girls. It’s like guys and sports: an assumed common ground wherein one can have a fairly long, fundamentally impersonal conversation. It’s great.
My mother always told me that people love talking about themselves, and she’s so right. In general, if you find yourself in a conversation that’s stalling, ask a question. I’m sure the kinds of questions my mother imagined were along the lines of, “How do you like your job?” or “So, what did you think of the President’s State of the Union address?” but in my case, the questions lean more towards “Wow, I love that sweater, where did you get it?” or “That bracelet is too cute! Who gave it to you?”
Before you judge me, consider: People’s clothes always have stories, and it’s rare that someone will answer an enthusiastic compliment with, “I bought it at the store.” They got the sweater at Nordstrom last year when it got really cold in March, and it was on super sale, and there was a color they wanted more but wasn’t the right size. Or they found the bracelet at a street fair in Indonesia from a one-armed woman who carved it with her teeth. The conversations don’t have to be shallow; often these tales of acquisition lead into something much bigger, real stories of trips and relationships and life experiences. The clothes question is just a vehicle for more conversation, and it’s so much more interesting than talking about the weather. It can also be a subject changer.
Case in point: last Friday we were at the bar, and some girl drama occurred. I’m not completely sure what the grounds of it were, but all of the sudden Friend X was getting very huffy at friend Y. Seeing as X was a bit tipsy and Y appeared dumbfounded, it was pretty clear that this was a case of overreaction that had potential of blowing up quickly.
Enter me: Savior of Polite Conversation Everywhere. Trying to act tipsier than I was, and as if I were oblivious to their fight I blurted out, “OMG (yes, I say OMG) I looove your necklace! Where in the world did you get it?” Now, to my credit, I knew the answer to this question because friend X had told me already. So I knew that it was gonna be a long story that she would be eager to tell, and that there was emotional attachment so it would hopefully shift her focus away from random hostility. That was the plan. And it worked. Like a charm.
Surely there are triggers other than clothing for getting people’s attention, or maintaining conversations, or finding out about one another, but in a world where tempers run hot and emotions and egos are as delicate as calfskin, it behooves us to identify a common ground where everyone has a story to tell. And chances are, they’re wearing it.
